Why She Never Called You After The First Date

I never gotta ask this dude's question.  I always got some weed :)

Fellas, is it just me or you too DO NOT believe in having dates in the classical sense???  You know, the ones were you and the date meet up somewhere, hang out, get some dinner and maybe catch a movie???  Oh yeah don't forget the mandatory dialogue whose purpose is to break the ice or to put your best foot forward.  

From the looks of this picture, dude doesn't seem like he's gonna have Becky here gag on HIS finger

I don't know about ya'll n*ggas, but when I did find myself having to go out and get some strange (Definition: New pu$$y) my goal was to either smash that night or the next time we chilled.  Because of that, I made sure that I gave my future target practice something good to look at and someone who was a good listener but an excellent source of good conversation.  As oppose to having a cutie - who already had d*ck on her mind and equally wanted her pu$$y slammed - cum thru and get to the point dating requires some level of action and presentation.

She's fed up with his sh*t, he ain't gonna get sh*t which means tonight the neighbors won't hear sh*t

For the n*ggas who didn't get the pu$$y the first night and never got a second date out of homegirl here are five reasons why:

1) YOU CAN'T DRINK FOR SH*T!!!!!!!

Do you really think a chick wants to be with a guy who can't stay up long enough to get IT up??????  By the time you WAKE UP she'll already be awake somewhere else.  Trust me, the sh*t she'll be swallowing DOES NOT come in a glass.

2) SHE THINKS SHE CAN WHOOP YOUR A$$!!!!!!!

NOBODY LIKES A PU$$Y!!!!!!  Even lesbians agree with me.  That's because when I say pu$$y I don't mean the kind that the ladies piss out of.  I'm talking about the overly sensitive, pink wearing, high pitched when they're angry, softer than pu$$y a$$ muthaf*ckas who think they're people with their fake tough guy act.  A PU$$Y can never fool a real dude or a real woman.  WHY??????????  

Number 1) Real dudes have been in pu$$y so much they can smell it from a mile away.

Number 2) Women smell their own pu$$y all the f*cking time so they know a PUSSY when they smell one

3) YOU DON'T HAVE A PROBLEM CHOKING A B*TCH!!!!!!

It seems like Rihanna has a lot of young girls and women wanting to be like her.  When it comes to men, I'm sure the majority of them would prefer that they treat them like the "S&M" Rihanna and not the "Taking a beat down from Chris Brown" Rihanna.  I don't believe in hitting a woman unless she's trying to kill you or f*ck with your car.  For whatever reason some men flip out on women for any kind of reason.  No way are these n*ggas beating the pu$$y up if your on the date looking like you want to beat her a$$ up because you look crazy as f*ck.

4) SHE DON'T WANT TO SEE YOU DO NOTHING BUT PLAY VIDEO GAMES!!!!!!

Other than cheating, video games will make your pu$$y supply disappear...FAST.  For most guys, video games is the button pressing, non-stop HD version of crack.  Whether its Madden, Mortal Kombat, Grand Theft Auto or Gears of War, once we get going we ain't stopping unless we need to go get some Game dutches, slurpee and hot dogs from 7Eleven at 2 o'clock in the morning (I COULD GIVE A F*CK IF IT WAS RAINING OR IF I WAS ACTING LIKE A RED-EYED ZOMBIE).  For some guys, upgrading their favorite team's roster in NBA 2K is helluva lot easier than talking to a girl.  You can't fault their logic...it's true but it sends the wrong signals to the girl.  It says that you're afraid of the pu$$y.  You're afraid to have your balls out on the line for yourself.  She also thinks that you will never go out of your way for her.  If there's one thing a woman can't stand and that's a muthaf*cka who man who ain't a man.  It takes a man to handle a woman.  Boys sure as hell can't do nothing more but play video games most of the d*mn time.  In the end the only person a muthaf*cka like this will be playing with  is their d*mn self.

5) YOUR D*CK GAME IS WICKETY WAAAAAAAAAACK BRUH!!!!!!

For some women sex on the first date is like blowjobs - they swear up and down to a n*gga that they never did it, that they would never do it, ya'll end up doing it and she tells you that you were the FIRST she did it with.  RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT!!!!!  I don't think there's anything wrong with a man or a woman getting some a$$ on the first date.  If it went great and you're feeling the person why wait.  The only time I've ever heard a woman regret letting the guy beat it at the end of the night is when the sex was some sh*t.  Rarely do you see a girl regret f*cking a dude on the first night when dude put in work.  I mean f*cking is a beautiful thing when you find someone who can f*ck.  That's the ultimate icebreaker in my opinion.  Nobody wants to be in  a relationship were there is bad sex.  In a sense, ladies don't feel bad if you gave it up the first time and it was the last time you ever messed with that nigga.  I know it adds to your d*ck count but see it as a blessing in disguise.  You give up one night as oppose to months, maybe YEARS of mediocre sessions that ends with you looking for the batteries to your favorite toy.

I can go on but I'm high as hell and I think ya'll get my point...