Tonight was no different from any other night at Riverview Psychiatric Hospital. The night shift was in full effect and the patients were calm and collected. Every nurse on duty was either tending to a patient or making their rounds. Everybody but Nurse Carl, who was napping in the break room for the past 5 minutes when his shift started no less than 10 minutes ago. Carl had worked a double shift (16 hours) the night before and smoked two joints in the employee parking lot prior to his shift beginning. Nobody on the staff, including the on-duty supervisor, ever bothered Carl when he was asleep. Most of the patients in his wing made sure not to break this rule.
While Carl continued his weed nap, a patient entered the break room. The break room doors had no locks and was available to staff and patients alike. The patient, named Bobby, was a manic depressive/bipolar who would occasionally go off his medicine. Almost every nurse in the hospital has had a run in with Bobby…except Carl. Some of the staff wondered who would win if the two came to blows.
Bobby saw that Carl was asleep and wanted to f*ck with him. He noticed that Carl’s coffee was on the table next to him and there was no lid. Bobby took out his d*ck and started stroking it while he got closer to Carl and his coffee. Right before Bobby busted his load in Carl’s coffee, another nurse, named Ray, was walking by and saw what was about to go down.
Ray yelled to the still sleeping Carl, “CARL!!!! WAKE UP MAN, BOBBY’S BOUT TO BUST IN YOUR COFFEE!!!!!!”
Ray’s cry immediately awakens Carl from his weed induced coma just as Bobby was about to c*m.
“Muthaf*cka what you doing over my coffee!?”
Bobby quickly puts his d*ck away and slowly backs away from Carl.
“Uh uh uh nothing Carl. I was just looking for a magazine. Oh there they go over there.”
Bobby tries to go over to the table with the magazines but Carl cuts him off. He thinks about running out the break room for the supervisor but Ray is blocking door, keeping a look out. He knows he’s about to be in some sh*t.
“You a lying a$$ c*cksucking muthafucka! Now you know not to f*ck with me when I’m sleeping and you’re crazy a$$ thought you c*m in my f*cking coffee.”
“Sorry Carl. You know my a$$ got problems. Maybe it’s time for me to take a”
OOOOOMPH! OOOOOOOMPH! POW! Carl gives Bobby two wild punches in the stomach and a backhand across the face. The slap was so loud that Ray was slightly shaken up.
Ray whispers to himself while he watches the a$$ whooping unfold, “Ahhhhh shit. C’mon Carl.” Ray immediately had second doubts of intervening. He didn’t know how Carl was going to explain the lumps and bruising Bobby was going to have from this beat down to Joe the supervisor.
After the backhand, the right side of Bobby’s white face had a red handprint. Carl was just getting started.
“PLEEEEEEEEEEEASE PLEASE!!!!! PLEEEEASE CARL STOP!”
“F*CK YOUR PLEASE NIGGA, TALK TO THE GROUND!” Carl shouted back as he continued smacking around an overmatched Bobby.
“ARRRGH FUUUUUUUUUU*K!” Bobby just caught two knees in the groin from Carl. He hits the floor face first. Carl got two kicks in the stomach before Bobby assumed fetal position.
“C*CKSUCKER!!!! YOU THINK I’M LIKE THE REST OF THESE F*CKS IN HERE!?!?!?”
While Carl is stomping out Bobby, Ray tries to calm him down before he goes too far, “Yo Carl, chill already. Let his crazy a$$ up. You’re gonna stop the skin off his back if you don’t let him up now.”
Carl throws in some kidney punches and eases off of Bobby. He catches his breath and goes back to the table with his coffee. Ray lets out a sigh of relief and drops his face in his hands. He could not believe what the hell he just saw. He’s heard the stories about Carl over the years. Here was a 49 year old brotha who didn’t take sh*t from no one. The staff loved him because the patients didn’t cause any trouble when he was on duty. Management was more afraid of Carl than the patients and kept their distance from him.
While Ray still had his face buried in his hands, still in shock from what unfolded before his eyes, he hears Bobby’s screams begin again.
“FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU*K!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! RAY HELP! THIS F*CKER BURNT ME!”
“SH*T!” Ray whispered to himself. He looks up and sees Carl standing over Bobby with an empty coffee cup in his hand. Bobby is on the floor screaming and kicking, face covered in hot coffee.
“CARL WHAT THE F*CK!” Ray shouted.
“Aight aight.” Carl was out of breath. Before he walks away from Bobby he throws his cup at his head. He sits down and catches his breath. After a few moments, he gathers himself and starts to feel pain in his right ankle. He takes off his shoe and sees his ankle starting to swell up.
“Sh*t!” He mutters to himself. His foot must’ve landed the wrong way while he was stomping Bobby to sleep.
“RAAAAY!” Bobby screamed at the stunned nurse. “Come help me.”
Ray has remained by the door since the one sided showdown began. He wasn’t about to go near Carl while he was in the zone. The last nurse who tried to break up a fight between Carl and a patient caught an elbow to the gut…from Carl. Carl didn’t like to be interrupted while he was “restraining” a patient.
“RAAAAAAY!!!! Come get me before he starts up again.” Bobby wanted to get some distance between him and Carl as fast as possible.
Ray looked over to Carl, who was at the fridge getting some ice, for his approval. “Carl?”
“Take that f*ggot back to his room. Give him a dose of Haldol, that’ll keep him quiet for the rest of the night.”
“What about his bruises? How are we going to explain this to Joe?
“Shit! He shouldn’t have messed with my coffee. Let me think for a minute.” Carl has been a nurse at the hospital for over 20 years. He knew how to play the system. He had a plan. “Aight here’s how it went down. Before my shift started you restrained Gerald and Bobby right?”
“Yeah. Gerald had to be doped up. He’s still out cold.”
“Has Joe seen Gerald yet? Did you give him your report?”
“Nah he came on duty the same time as you. He’s been in his office since ya’ll shift started. I didn’t write up the report yet. After I put down Gerald I took my ass to the handicap bathroom for a weed nap.”
“Cool. After you put down Bobby write up that report and hype it up. Say they fought hard or some sh*t.”
“I can’t say that Carl, Joe will know that’s some bullsh*t.”
“Joe isn’t going to know shit. These animals fight each other all the time.”
“But there’s a problem with-“
“What’s wrong with the plan Ray?”
“Gerald doesn’t have a mark on him.”
“Why does this gotta be so hard??? Aight, let me take care of Gerald, just clean Bobby’s ass up and get him to bed.”
“What are you going to do to Gerald Carl?”
“Stop asking so many questions Ray. Gerald’s not going to feel anything. I promise.”
Ray decides to go along with Carl’s plan. He scoops Bobby off the floor and takes him off to get cleaned and doped up while Carl ices his ankle.
After Ray took care of Bobby he starts to write up the report. Meanwhile, Carl lets himself into Gerald’s room. Gerald is out cold. The drugs they give the unruly patients are powerful. Carl could have kicked in the door and started banging pans and Gerald would not even budge.
SMACK! SM-SM-SM-SMACK! POOMF! POOMF! POOMF!
Carl lets out a flurry of backhands upside Gerald’s face. Gerald remains silent and sleeping. Carl finishes Gerald off with a few punches to the ribs.
Carl thinks to himself, “Damn I need another joint already.” Carl makes sure Gerald’s still breathing. Gerald looks like he’s having a very active dream. He turned over on his side and let out a fart. Carl dips out the room and goes to his car for another smoke session.
Later on in the evening, Carl has a meeting with Joe in his office. Joe was much younger than Carl. Nothing he has experienced in life had prepared him for a guy like Carl. In some ways his title had no affect on Carl. At the end of the day, Carl was only going to listen to one person…himself. He would never admit this to anyone on the staff, but Joe knew that when Carl was on duty, he ran sh*t and he would have to fall in line with everybody else.
“How’s it going Carl?” Joe politely asked. Small talk was his way of breaking the ice with Carl.
“I’m well Joe. How’s the wife?” Carl always played along just so Joe would know he had nothing to be afraid of.
“Maggie is doing good, thanks for asking. You seeing anybody lately?”
“Ohhhhh no. I’m too young to settle down Joe.”
“Hahahaha, that’s a good one Carl. Ok listen, the reason why I wanted to talk to you is to let you know how much I and management appreciate everything you do for the patients and the staff. You are truly an invaluable asset to this hospital.”
“No need for the flattery. A job is a job to me Joe. I’m just happy to be working and have a little money in my pocket.”
“Regardless, I felt that I owed you that much. But there’s just one little thing I wanted to address with you.”
“Which issssssssssssss?”
Joe takes a long pause and a deep breath, “You’re excessive smoke breaks.”
“Oh.” Carl remains cool and calm. He knows Joe doesn’t know what he really smokes on break.
“I don’t want to harass you about this. I know the staff and cigarettes go hand in hand. But you take 9 breaks per shift. You’re gone for at least 15 minutes at a time. You even forget to punch out most of the time. You think you can get this under control?” Joe is hoping Carl we’ll see eye to eye with him on this subject.
“Joe, I don’t know what to say. Since I started working here, I have worked more doubles than anybody. I’ve already worked more doubles this year than the rest of the staff combined.”
“I know Carl, it’s just that-“
Carl cuts Joe off, “F*ck man, I’m here more than your scary a$$! How the f*ck you’re younger than me, get paid more than my old black A$$ and I’m the one running sh*t. Now you wanna bother me with this bullsh*t. F*CK THAT AND F*CK YOU TOO!”
Joe’s mouth drops. He’s never been cussed out as bad as this before. Sure the patients say some off the wall stuff to him from time to time. But Carl was in his own league. He didn’t know how to respond.
“Now Carl settle down. Be reasonable. All I’m asking-“
Carl cuts Joe off and goes back in on him, “YOU’RE NOT ASKING ME TO DO SH*T MUTHAFUCKA!!!!! I’M ASKING YOU TO LET ME LIVE AND CUT MY CHECK!”
Joe gets up and leaves Joe’s office. He knew he had made his point and that Joe wouldn’t press him further. He knew he just got away with murder but he didn’t want to press his luck. As Carl is leaving Joe’s office Ray, after hearing Carl shouting from down the hall, enters. While going by, Carl and Ray make eye contact and nod to each other. Ray is delivering his incident report to Joe. Carl goes to his car for another smoke break.
Ray looks at Joe and notices right away the shocked expression across his face. Joe’s face was as red as the face cloth Ray used to clean up Bobby’s face not too long ago.
“Hey Joe, here’s that report.”
“What?” Joe was in a daze. His thought process came to a screeching halt after the verbal a$$ whooping he just endured. “Right, thank you Ray.”
“Are you ok Joe? I don’t understand why you take that shit from Carl. You’re a f*cking supervisor dude!”
“Come on Ray, you know how Carl is when he gets going. It’s muthaf*cka this, muthaf*cka that. I know he’s crazier than the crazies in here but he’s also the only thing standing between me and them. I’m not trying to wake up with one of these guys penis in my face.”
“Penis???” Ray is shocked. For the second time tonight. Well three if you count the run in with Bobby as twice seeing how Carl did stop for a moment to get his coffee. “Did you just say penis?”
“Yes Ray. PENIS! What’s the big deal?” Joe was a devout Catholic and tried to avoid the use of profanity.
“Dude you’re 35 years old. You haven’t heard the word PENIS since your old man taught you how to aim, drain and shake.” Ray was embarrassed for Joe. He didn’t know how he lasted so long in this place. “Grow some balls and act like you got a D*CK before one of these clowns kill you.” Ray dips from Joe’s office shaking his head. “PENIS!,” he mutters to himself while he walks to the handicap bathroom for a nap.
In the parking lot, Carl is smoking a joint in his whip while he’s receiving head from an attractive woman. His shift has been over for 30 minutes. He was on the verge of busting his load
“Daaaaamn Becky, you know how to make a man feel special.”
“Why do you keep calling me Becky?”
“Sorry hun, it’s just my nickname for you. Now keep sucking. Daddy’s bout to blow!”
The attractive woman, 14 years younger than Carl, was gagging rapidly on Carl’s dick while she massaged his balls. She’s been keeping the same pace for about 10 minutes straight without taking a breather.
“OHHHHHHHHHHHH WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
The attractive woman catches Carl’s load and swallows it down in a couple of gulps.
“You like that Daddy?”
“You already know.”
“Good, I aim to please.”
“World class baby, I salute you.”
“Awwww, you’re too much Carl,” the attractive woman says while she cleans herself up. She leans over and gives Carl a kiss on his cheek. “Tomorrow?”
“Yeah no doubt. Now let me let you get on home. I need to do the same. Working another double tomorrow.
“Ok baby, get some rest. I’ll call you when I’m outside.”
“Goodnight.”
“Goodnight.”
After popping a mint and getting a quick pussy pop section from Carl, the attractive woman gets out of his car and hops into her own. Carl peels out the parking lot and heads home. After he leaves, Joe exits the hospital and hops in the car and gives the attractive woman a deep tongue kiss.
“You’ve been waiting long Maggie?”
“Nope, I just got here.”
“Ok, let’s go home.”
“You got it baby.”
TO BE CONTINUED…
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